Saturday, August 14, 2010

Anniversary

The other day (8/10) my Lovely Wife and I celebrated our 42nd wedding anniversary.  We were mmphkah years old when we married (it is interesting that my LW is still only 20 something).

We spent a quiet day at home with me roasting some beef with baked potatoes and salad plus ice cream for dessert.  Most of our anniversaries are spent quietly at home. On one of our anniversaries we went to a riding stable and rode 2 horrible horses named Orville and Peanut; her horse sort of did what my LW wanted but mine felt that he has worked enough for the year.

On our 25th anniversary, we went to a dude ranch in MI, where the horses were much nicer.  On our 40th anniversary we went to a dude ranch (Peaceful Valley) in CO.  We rode horses at least once a day and had a lot of fun plus there were s'mores and great meals 3 times a day (my LW feels any meal she doesn't have to make is great).

I am very lucky to have such a wonderful LW!


By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.  Socrates 


Marriage: a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters written in prose.  Beverly Nichols 


If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?



Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.'


My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met.  Rodney Dangerfield 


The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.  Henry Youngman 


A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.  Milton Berle



Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.  Josh Billings




When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.



Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for." Mae West



MARRIAGE, n.  The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two. (DD)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Medicine


One of my favorite comedians is Tim Hawkins, above is his video of medicine side effects.  There is a pill that now  (Seasonique) that reduces the number of periods that women have.  If you read the possible side effects they include most common are nausea, vomiting, bleeding or spotting between periods, breast tenderness, and difficulty wearing contact lenses.  Isn't bleeding the same as a period?

There are ads for depression meds that  list the side effect of suicide and depression.  Let's see if I get this; you take this medicine if you are depressed but it causes death & depression!

My lovely wife and I listen to the medicine ads just waiting for the possible side effects and wondering why would anyone take medicines?


Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.  Erma Bombeck


God heals and the doctor takes the fee. Benjamin Franklin


First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. Steve Martin 


My doctor is wonderful. Once, in 1955, when I couldn’t afford an operation, he touched up the X-rays. Joey Bishop


Medicine, the only profession that labors incessantly to destroy the reason for its existence.  James Bryce 


The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. Thomas Fuller



MEDICINE, n.  A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway (DD)

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Business

No one in the P.O. administration knows anything about business.  There are no businessmen in his cabinet  or inner circle.

Business is in business to make money.  P.O. believes that their purpose is to be taxed or to give jobs to workers.  These are only byproducts of a successful business not their goals.

P.O. believes that by raising taxes on businesses he can close the trillions of dollar budget deficit.  Businesses are not really taxed!  Businesses raise their prices or cut jobs to maintain a profit.

P.O. believes that by making it easier for unions to organize that more jobs will be created.  Higher wages and restrictive work rules do not make for more jobs, only a less profitable business which leads to organizations like the auto industries which can not compete with foreign companies which lead to bailouts and fewer jobs.

P.O. believes by taxing small businessmen that the deficit will decrease.  People unlike P.O. are not stupid, they will not work of hard or expand if it costs them more than it is worth.

Profits are not evil as P.O. believes.  Profits allow expansion and give stock holder money  to spend.


Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it, and that's true anywhere in the world.  Andrew Young


There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.  David Letterman


Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity. Karl Marx



I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't. Steve Martin


I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. Les Dawson


You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in ONE SENTENCE....what it does....it's illegal.   Lewis Black



I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. Steven Wright



Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.  Dave Barry


Business? It's quite simple. It's other people's money. Alexandre Dumas



business (n) 
1 a person's regular occupation, profession, or trade 2 the practice of making one's living by engaging in commerce
ORIGIN Old English bisignis (see busy , -ness ). The sense in Old English was [anxiety] ; the sense [the state of being busy] was used from Middle English down to the 18th cent., but is now differentiated as busyness. The sense [an appointed task] dates from late Middle English , and from it all the other current senses have developed.