Thursday, March 29, 2012

Talkers, Listeners, & Thinkers

My LW was telling me about a conversation she had at the Y with the woman we call "the talker woman" (partly because we don't remember her name and partly because she is very talkative).  She is very friendly and likes to talk; she started talking with my LW and when it was appropriate my LW started telling her about a trip to Target.  As soon as my LW mentioned Target, the other woman started talking about how much better the food prices were at Target then at Jewel.  This happened a few times when my LW tried to complete a thought/sentence.

This woman is a Talker.  She only listens until she can interject something important (to her) about the subject.

Other people actually listen to the person talking.  I am not much of a talker.  I try to listen, but sometimes I am thinking of something else or doing something else when someone starts talking and don't hear/comprehend what is said.  Listening takes effort and some of us don't want to do that.  In my previous job, we had seminars on effective listening (of course, some people didn't listen!) and how important it is.

Some interesting (to me) web quotes:

In general, becoming a good listener is difficult for most of us because A. most of us are talkers, not listeners. B. not-listening is a habit most of us develop during childhood. C. most people have nothing interesting to say. D. listening to people requires us to pay attention.

As a child coming up, I used to see my mother and her friends have conversations around dinner and I was amused at how none of them could finish a sentence. As soon as mom would start to talk, the friend would inject with her own bit, then another would inject on her and the cycle continued. None of them raised their voice or got upset, yet the conversation continued for long periods of time. It was as if the interruptions were accepted, known and unable to break the flow of discussion. To this day I cannot fathom how people are able to communicate like that....
I have come to the conclusion that there are 3 types of people in this world when it comes to conversation. There’s the talker, the listener and then that rare breed of person who plays both cards. Listeners aren’t big fans of talkers (unless we’re on a date), but talkers love listeners.  Talkers need listeners because if listeners were not around you would have the scenario with my mom, except that the lot would be getting frustrated.

There are two types of person in this world when it comes to communicating with others. one is the Listener and another is Talker.
Listeners usually are quiet and seems like a wise person and can be a good source for advice (many people say so), 
while Talkers usually are very expressive and very open to others. everywhere and every time they have the chance they will start expressing their feelings to anyone nearby (sometimes even to strangers, and because they seem to talk too much, people tend to get scared to actually tell a talker their problems, because talkers are usually seems "not wise", "too emotionally involved" and off course "hard to keep up a secret".(again many people say so)..

As far as I know none of the above are professionals in the area, but I thought the entries were appropriate.

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